Assessing Power in Relationships

How do we make sure we have an equal marriage? This isn't always easy to do, luckily there's an assessment put together by the authors of the book.

Power processes are the patterns of interaction among couples, the communication techniques that they use with each other when they are discussing decisions to be made.

Power Processes Scale
1. My partner tends to discount my opinion.
2. My partner does not listen to me.
3. When I want to talk about a problem in our relationship, my partner often refueses to talk with me about it.
4. My partner tends to dominate our conversations.
5. When we do not agree on an issue, my partner gives me the cold shoulder.
6. I do not feel free to express my opinion about issues in our relationship.
7. My partner makes decisions that affect our family without talking to me first.
8. My partner and I do not talk about problems until we both agree on a solution.
9. I feel like my partner tries to control me.

Power outcomes refer to which spouse typically makes the final decision when there are differing opinions beween the spouses.

Power Outcomes Scale
1. When it comes to money, my partner's opinion usually wins out.
2. When it comes to children, my partner's opinion usually wins out.
3. It often seems my partner can get away with things in our relationship that I can never get away with.
4. I have no choice but to do what my partner wants.
5. My partner has more influence in our relationship than I do.
6. When disagreements arise in our relationship, my partner's opinion usually wins out.

In equal relationships they continue to discuss the issue until it is resolved in a mutual agreement. They both have the ability to say no until they both feel comfortable with a decision.

Agree with these  the statements shows there's an unbalance, we should look at it as each ourselves and our spouse. Disagreeing shows us that we have a balanced/equal marriage.

Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives Alan J Hawkins et al Chapter 4 pg 43