Parenting Styles

Coercive: Parents who deride, demean, or diminish children and teens by continually putting them in their place, putting them down, mocking them, or holding power over them via punitive or psychologically controlling means.

These environments are often hostile and manifested by frequent spanking, yelling, criticizing, and forcing, and has been linked to many forms of antisocial, withdrawn, and delinquent behaviors in children and teens.

This type of parenting is also know as Authoritarian and the way I remember it is King Triton towards Ariel's need to explore the world above the sea. This psychological control will be expounded on more in another post. Something interesting learned in the Successful Marriages and Families book talked about how the phrase you should use the rod to enforce a punishment as talked about in the bible is in fact referring to the word of the Lord..  President Hinckley stated "I have never accepted the principle of spare the rod and spoil the child. Children don't need beating. They need love and encouragement."

Some state that spanking should be avoided at first for every wrong misdoing, should we use it, it should be the very last resort, if children are not responding to other tactics first.  Other research suggest that although it will stop the misbehavior right way and for the short term. It can in fact lead to greater disobedience and antisocial behavior later on.

Brigham Young observed " I have seen more parents who were unable to control themselves than I ever saw who were unable to control their children"  Undoubtedly that can lead to confusion on which way to lean. There are however better ways to go about disciplining children as will be discussed further in other posts.

Permissive: Are the exact opposite of coercive parenting. They either overindulge their children or neglect them by leaving them to their own devices. Which either way is shirking of our responsibilities to raise children as we are commanded to do. Parents in this field have no diameters in which to parent their children. They avoid using any sort of authority over their children. They also don't restrict/ provide structure for their children's time (like bedtimes, mealtimes, or limits on computer usage).

Authoritative: This is the optimal parenting style. It fosters a positive emotional connection with children, provides for regulation that places fair and consistent limits on child behavior, and allows for reasonable child autonomy in decision making. Brigham Young asked parents to "study their [children's] dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly". Meaning that we as parents must be able to decide what limits our children will or won't need.  This section will be discussed in further detail later on. Tim and I are going for this type of parenting with Kenneth and our future children. My parents did the same with me and I see my siblings going this wrote too.

Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives Alan J Hawkins et al Chapter 10 pg 105-108