Thoughts

It's weird to think this last baby is officially gone. I really want another baby, but right now I'm not sure when that will happen if ever again.

Mom told me she's confident that I will have another as has Tim and many others. Even the doctor seemed confident and even a little confused why I had a prefect pregnancy with Kenneth and then had these two miscarriages in a row. That's something I'll never know, beside what is stated in another post that Heavenly Father knew I needed Kenneth here to help me.

Kenneth is my light. He has been such a blessing to me and Tim. I love this boy so much. He's given me reasons to smile and laugh during this time.

I always wanted to be a mom. Once I understand what that meant.

Mom made me a cross-stitch of a little girl holding her baby doll. She says it reminds her of how I was with my baby dolls.

Kenneth was exactly what I have needed. I know I keep saying that. But it's so true.

 I have wished that he would sit still and let me just hold him and he did just that this last weekend. I have realized even more now that Heavenly Father is aware of what we need and maybe Kenneth being sick and more cuddly is what I needed so that I could hold my baby.

I got sad Sunday because he's looking more like a toddler then a baby. Sunday we spent a good three hours just laying in bed cuddling. Even though he didn't stay still like I wish he had. I'm still glad I had that time with him.

I realize this situation could be much worse as I have a few friends that have never been able to get pregnant. Or I have my sister and other friends who can but couldn't keep their babies without help. Which I may need now. The doctor suggested taking baby Aspirin and Folic Acid the next time I get a positive test and I'm willing to try it out. He said if it works great and even if it doesn't at least it's something that won't hurt to try.

I want everyone to know that I'm so thankful for their thoughts and prayers, I think it has helped me so much. I don't feel as sad as I did Wednesday. I know I'm not completely over this, but I'm feeling better.

I never realized how many friends I had. I have at times felt like I had none, but since going through this I have realized how many great friends I really have. Willing to let me call them if needed to talk and being willing to pray for me. Rexburg has been good for that. I have learned to rely more on friends and ward members then I ever remember doing growing up.

Thank you all of my old and current Rexburg friends. I love you so much and am glad you were put into my life. I also must thank my amazing family for being there to comfort me too when I first found out.