Parenting Principle #6

The next principle I can use lots of work on is Talk Less, Ask More. In this section Kohn talks a lot about how we can and should ask a child opinion or why they even want something someway to discover what's wrong with them or even while they're doing that particular thing.
This quote from Kohn is nicely put : "our first priority is to figure out the source of the problem, to recognize what children need." (1) Instead of assuming they're openly disobeying us we should instead figure out why they're doing something. Heavenly Father and Christ are very good at this principle. Although they already know what's going on they still allow us the freedom to say to them what's wrong, before trying to fix it.

"When children are old enough to tell us why they’re unhappy or angry, the question then becomes whether they feel safe enough to do so. Our job is to create that sense of safety, to listen without judgment, to make sure they know they won’t get into trouble for telling us what they’ve done or be condemned for what they feel." (2) This quote I related to the talk given in General Conference this time around I can't remember who or which day exactly it was. (I'll look for that after the talks are all out) But I loved how they made a point to let us know that it's never to let to come back to Christ and reach full standing within the church. May there be consequences for what actions we make? Yes but Christ will still be there to offer us comfort and get us through it.
This also reminds me of the King Lamoni story found in Alma 18, he was able to repent even though he was the vilest of sinners and had committed all sorts of sin. My Book of Mormon teacher related him to Saddam Hussein so that we could just understand how wicked and evil he really was and how if he could repent and be found clean then why can't the rest of us be made clean as well.

(1) Kohn, Alfie (2005-03-22). Unconditional Parenting (p. 127). Simon & Schuster, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
(2) Kohn, Alfie (2005-03-22). Unconditional Parenting (p. 128). Simon & Schuster, Inc.. Kindle Edition.