I have felt for a while now that I need to write down my feelings about being a mom and everything that comes with it. I have this split into 4 parts (for now at least)
The first thought of mine comes from my experience with breastfeeding. Not many know but I was only able to breastfeed Kenneth until he was just over 3 months. That was around the time that we discovered he had/has acid reflux and needed to take medications to help him from screaming non-stop. Luckily that helped so much. Not so lucky during that time my milk stopped producing as much and try as I might I never could get it back to where it needed to be. I was going to try just pumping milk and doing bottles because he refused to nurse at the breast anymore. That took way more work then it was worth especially since I wasn't getting much out. I was doing enough each day to make sure he was fed so that I could spend an hour pumping, to only get less then an ounce out. I literally neglected doing any house work and most days didn't cook dinner.
It was so hard for me to decide that I needed to stop nursing and just give him formula. I talked to a good friend about it and was so heartbroken about whether or not it was what I should do. In the end it was, because it brought back some freedom in our lives, and I have been able to devote more time to cleaning and cooking. Even if it's after Tim gets home from work. :)
I hope and pray that next time around I can go much longer and won't have near the problems I had with Kenneth. Also I hope that my next little one won't have the reflux or if they do it doesn't go undiagnosed for as long as Kenneth's did.
1 comment:
Rachel I definitely understand the desire to breastfeed longer. I was only able to nurse Brynlee for a few months and it wasn't exclusively because I wouldn't produce anything and she was extremely sensitive to lactose. I remember pumping and pumping for hours on end to come up with nothing. Eventually for our family's happiness and my own we knew that it was time to end nursing. Thank you so much for sharing your experience because too often women aren't able to meet their goal for breastfeeding and they are hard on themselves, but in the end we all do what is in the best interest for our families :) You rock!
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