When to have Children?

This is a hard subject for many young married couples to discuss. Tim and I looked into this well before we got married to make sure we were on the same page before and so I could be on any necessary birth control to help prevent it if needed. We easily decided to wait to be married for a year before start trying. This was a good thing I was ready to have a baby within 8 months of getting married. Many know though that Kenneth actually didn't come along until just before our two year anniversary.

President Hinckley when speaking to married couples stated that if we are married we should discuss it with our spouse. As it is our spiritual obligation as well as a joy with subsequent blessings to bear and rear children. There are times that people will be unable to bear their own children which I have quite a few friends that have gone and will go through the great adoption process. 

How many children? As stated in the Church Handbook it is up to the couple and the Lord. Members of the church shouldn't judge others in the matter of when to have children. It is actually stated as being a private matter and therefore as a couple we may need to choose not to discuss this with others or if we do be careful in who we choose to discuss. We may easily be tempted to discuss it with others then with our spouse but this could easily cause hurt feelings and cause different judgments to be passed. 

I love Elder Oaks quote:

" How many children should a couple have? All they can care for! Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life. Children must be loved, nurtured, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capacities to be good parents themselves."

I look at all the amazing examples I have of parents and Remember asking my mom about when she knew she was done. She said you just know. She then told me a story about how she was having some complications between my brother that's just older than me and I. Her doctor recommended her having a hysterectomy. She wasn't sure she was done, luckily her doctor was LDS and understood that she should make sure she was. How glad I am that she didn't say she was done, as the life I have had would be completely different. 

This is a tough topic for Tim and I, we're in such limbo right now with how many we each want. I am hoping we will both KNOW we're done when that time comes. I just know I want another and will gladly take as many as the Lord will send us. 

Successful Marriages and Families Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives Alan J Hawkins et al Chapter 4 pg 55